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School: Anglo Chinese Junior College
Birthday: 2nd March 1988
Bleah
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Tagboard
Thursday, December 22, 2005
xmas is coming! i didnt feel it creeping to me till i started shopping for gifts! i was tied down with the heaviest shackles yesterday and didnt bother to meet up with gf, fang and gaby at first. but i was afraid they dont have money for the gift i asked them to buy (i cant say what it is, so yupp), so i dragged myself to meet them.
turned out i got bullied the whole time until i met them at IKEA. argh! i was pushed around, couldnt get a good bargain, and even got cheated while looking for my sneakers. argh!
oh ya its really hilarious when my mum busted a secret thats so "bubbly" right? lol! i dont even need an inch of effort to get the results!
ok... i like this part of the song. only someone will know why. haha.
Under a lover's sky
I'm Gonna be with you
And no one's gonna be around
If you think that you won't fall
We'll just wait until
Till the sun goes down
turned out i got bullied the whole time until i met them at IKEA. argh! i was pushed around, couldnt get a good bargain, and even got cheated while looking for my sneakers. argh!
oh ya its really hilarious when my mum busted a secret thats so "bubbly" right? lol! i dont even need an inch of effort to get the results!
ok... i like this part of the song. only someone will know why. haha.
Under a lover's sky
I'm Gonna be with you
And no one's gonna be around
If you think that you won't fall
We'll just wait until
Till the sun goes down
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
what do people want out of this when they shout it all out? can they afford to be selfish and not care about how the others may feel? is there anything else more important than just love and its complicated relationships?
true love is to be unselfish and unjealous. is it almost humanly impossible? what if true love is given to more than one? how to be unselfish about it if you have only half? will someone have strong enough faith for God, and wait for his word?
true love is to be unselfish and unjealous. is it almost humanly impossible? what if true love is given to more than one? how to be unselfish about it if you have only half? will someone have strong enough faith for God, and wait for his word?
Sunday, December 18, 2005
oh no i just read gf's blog and she said i never write about her. ok i will now. i miss you so much gf. though i just saw you yesterday. i miss you easily. cant do without you. you must know that. im like sai now. you know? haha
bleah. big bleah.
is everybody going crazy
is somebody going to save me
can somebody tell me whats going on
tell me whats going on
if you open your eyes
you see that something is wrong
is somebody going to save me
can somebody tell me whats going on
tell me whats going on
if you open your eyes
you see that something is wrong
Saturday, December 17, 2005
I hope you’re doing fine out there without me '
Cause I'm not doing so good without you
The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years
I guess I only see the truth through all this fear of living without you
And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
I can’t take another day without you
'Cause, baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long just to hold you
And to be back in your arms where I belong
I'm sorry I can't always find the words to say
But everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love
And everything I have in this world
All that I'll ever be It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
As the days roll on I see
Time is standing still for me
When you’re not here I’m sorry
I can’t always find the words to say
Everything I’ve ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love x2
And everything I have in this world
And all that i'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
Cause I'm not doing so good without you
The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years
I guess I only see the truth through all this fear of living without you
And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
I can’t take another day without you
'Cause, baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long just to hold you
And to be back in your arms where I belong
I'm sorry I can't always find the words to say
But everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love
And everything I have in this world
All that I'll ever be It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
As the days roll on I see
Time is standing still for me
When you’re not here I’m sorry
I can’t always find the words to say
Everything I’ve ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love x2
And everything I have in this world
And all that i'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
Thursday, December 15, 2005
i played the last game of the year. had so much to think. it hurts actually. i had been thru so mcuh these times and netball has always been by my side. whatever bad happens, dispatches, whatever la. when my heart hurts. when its excruciating. i just want to play netball to dissolve the heart straining matters. with the comfy company of netballers, i will be able to enter into fantasy with ease.
yes i know training turns my stomach so much. but it wears time out. faster than anything. but i get affected when im off mood (most of the time) i get shit for training. maybe ms tan was right when she scolded me. i was very lazy and still am. cant play well cant perform. the thought of the possibilities of becoming a GD puts me off instantaneously. it nails me down. i will do my best for the team. i guess i have to be prepared for next year's success. by the looks of it. if the team is confirming my darling shu hui, then ok la. coach wont be so silly. she knows i may be very good WD (coz i chiong and knock pple down) but may not be a good GD.
im officially invited to go for U21s this time, by the open team captain. i really am dying to go. coz its mid field they are lacking. argh! but i have much more responsibilites now. my A's. my family. my friends. i dont know what to do.
im really dishevelled. aimless half the time. what the hell am i doing. wake up xian. its really time to wake up. i have to stop spinning in circles, spiralling just dust. no tangible achievements. goodness
yes i know training turns my stomach so much. but it wears time out. faster than anything. but i get affected when im off mood (most of the time) i get shit for training. maybe ms tan was right when she scolded me. i was very lazy and still am. cant play well cant perform. the thought of the possibilities of becoming a GD puts me off instantaneously. it nails me down. i will do my best for the team. i guess i have to be prepared for next year's success. by the looks of it. if the team is confirming my darling shu hui, then ok la. coach wont be so silly. she knows i may be very good WD (coz i chiong and knock pple down) but may not be a good GD.
im officially invited to go for U21s this time, by the open team captain. i really am dying to go. coz its mid field they are lacking. argh! but i have much more responsibilites now. my A's. my family. my friends. i dont know what to do.
im really dishevelled. aimless half the time. what the hell am i doing. wake up xian. its really time to wake up. i have to stop spinning in circles, spiralling just dust. no tangible achievements. goodness
Monday, December 12, 2005
i went for the IJ seniors farewell! took some pics. gf got new hairstyle! spent 38 bucks on it man! im going to cut hair soon too.. hee. ile
Saturday, December 10, 2005
i sprained my thumb!! screams! pain.. pout.. cant really type.. *whining badly* ok.. today have a friendly with the UK netballers.. they are bigger than us obviously. but oh wells. ACSians overcomed that.. 37-29. we won after playing 6 quarters..
but during the warm up. i fell on my knee. ouch my joint. pout. then later sprained finger during game. that is a big ouch. can hardly type now. ouch! hope i heal by tues. coz trg on tues and thurs. then match on wed.
and i miss you so much geraldine tay su juan! im dying to see you. you must hug me first, and tightest. i cant wait i cant wait. MISS INSULTING YOU DUA PUI... rem? haha. love you so much.
but during the warm up. i fell on my knee. ouch my joint. pout. then later sprained finger during game. that is a big ouch. can hardly type now. ouch! hope i heal by tues. coz trg on tues and thurs. then match on wed.
and i miss you so much geraldine tay su juan! im dying to see you. you must hug me first, and tightest. i cant wait i cant wait. MISS INSULTING YOU DUA PUI... rem? haha. love you so much.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
am i waiting for someone, something to save me? coz i already gave up trying to be understanding, to the very least unselfish and bla bla..
i was mad, yes i know. i was uncontrollable. i was sprouting nonsense. i was unreasonable. but that is just me when i get upset. i am just this insane, this hysterical. i am very disappointed at myself, for not being able to understand the situation your in. i feel all too selfish. i really cant stand myself. looking at myself being so unsensitive, hurts me so bad. a million needles piercing into my heart. the scars unrevealed, yet the pain rips the soul outta my body. im grossed out. i had enough of myself. im losing control. sorry lord. forgive me.
i was mad, yes i know. i was uncontrollable. i was sprouting nonsense. i was unreasonable. but that is just me when i get upset. i am just this insane, this hysterical. i am very disappointed at myself, for not being able to understand the situation your in. i feel all too selfish. i really cant stand myself. looking at myself being so unsensitive, hurts me so bad. a million needles piercing into my heart. the scars unrevealed, yet the pain rips the soul outta my body. im grossed out. i had enough of myself. im losing control. sorry lord. forgive me.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
i pray you'll be all right
and watches where we go
help us to be right
in times when we dont know
let this be our prayer
when we lose our way
lead us to the light
guide us with your grace
to a place where we'l be safe
going through a hard time now. not just me. but peeps around me. how to get up strongly, when you know that everywhere else has fallen. what are you to do when you no longer have the strength to move on. show us the way. show someone in us at least.
and watches where we go
help us to be right
in times when we dont know
let this be our prayer
when we lose our way
lead us to the light
guide us with your grace
to a place where we'l be safe
going through a hard time now. not just me. but peeps around me. how to get up strongly, when you know that everywhere else has fallen. what are you to do when you no longer have the strength to move on. show us the way. show someone in us at least.
Friday, December 02, 2005
why do i suck these few days? or at least i finally see the true self or something.. it hurts man. to know im so unreasonable and im still doing it. and i feel like everyone should do it my way and all. i feel so disgusted of myself. i think that is why i pissed everyone off now. im so sad la. as in sad case too. unreasonable. unreasonable!!!!!!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
ARGH!!
im talking to kel now... so funny when i think back of last time. i kinda missed IJ life. but i know there is no turning back. i do regret some stuff.. but i just gotta live with it.. missed you babe.. haha..