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School: Anglo Chinese Junior College
Birthday: 2nd March 1988
Bleah
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Tagboard
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
i face the world with a smile, no one knows what is hidden inside.
they see only happiness, they cant see the tears i've cried.
when im alone i hurt, because here i do it well.
in front of all the watchful eyes my heaven turns to hell.
the judge and jury awaits me, everyone has a say.
in life that hangs suspended for yet another day.
who are they to judge if what i have done is right or wrong?
in the end i gave you up, but still singing your song.
i dont know how to find the strength i thought i had.
if only i could play tough it wouldnt be so bad.
they say that life goes on and someday i'll somehow smile again.
maybe only after my life ends...
how do they know my pain, without being where i've been?
i've travelled so far from where i was, and i cant find my way back
im am dying here.. but i still wana beg..
please stay.. i cant breathe when you're away..
sound like a fuck.. who is a loser..
but im losing control.. who doenst care about the world's eyes..
only want you belonging to me..
is that so hard.. is that so hard..
they see only happiness, they cant see the tears i've cried.
when im alone i hurt, because here i do it well.
in front of all the watchful eyes my heaven turns to hell.
the judge and jury awaits me, everyone has a say.
in life that hangs suspended for yet another day.
who are they to judge if what i have done is right or wrong?
in the end i gave you up, but still singing your song.
i dont know how to find the strength i thought i had.
if only i could play tough it wouldnt be so bad.
they say that life goes on and someday i'll somehow smile again.
maybe only after my life ends...
how do they know my pain, without being where i've been?
i've travelled so far from where i was, and i cant find my way back
im am dying here.. but i still wana beg..
please stay.. i cant breathe when you're away..
sound like a fuck.. who is a loser..
but im losing control.. who doenst care about the world's eyes..
only want you belonging to me..
is that so hard.. is that so hard..
everyone in my sch have either boyfriends or girlfriends from other schs.. and they are able to cope.. why must i be the one hurt by this reason... i dont get it... once again.. i feel like dying.. can i make it to the next Dec? or not even making it to 2004...
Well I woke up this morning
And the night had been so long
It seems that I have had my mind on you
Well the day, it has begun, and I can't get a minute, can't get a
minute without you (oh yeah)
You're always on my mind, you're always in my head
And I can't live, I can't live another day without you
'Cause when the minutes seem like hours and the hours seem like days
Then a week goes by you know it takes my breath away
All the minutes in the world could never take your place
There's one-thousand-four-hundred-forty hours in my day
I've been trying to call you all day, 'cause I got so many things
that I want to say (oh yeah)
I'm going crazy, 'cause all my thoughts are filled with you
There's got to be some way I can get through to you ohh
I can't keep myself from thinking about you
It's because I love you, and I know that it's true, whoooa
I'll call it desperation, can't you see it in my eyes?
That I want be with you until the sun falls from the sky
And the night had been so long
It seems that I have had my mind on you
Well the day, it has begun, and I can't get a minute, can't get a
minute without you (oh yeah)
You're always on my mind, you're always in my head
And I can't live, I can't live another day without you
'Cause when the minutes seem like hours and the hours seem like days
Then a week goes by you know it takes my breath away
All the minutes in the world could never take your place
There's one-thousand-four-hundred-forty hours in my day
I've been trying to call you all day, 'cause I got so many things
that I want to say (oh yeah)
I'm going crazy, 'cause all my thoughts are filled with you
There's got to be some way I can get through to you ohh
I can't keep myself from thinking about you
It's because I love you, and I know that it's true, whoooa
I'll call it desperation, can't you see it in my eyes?
That I want be with you until the sun falls from the sky
Monday, December 29, 2003
you know?! i bought this NIKE tennis shoes!!! red and black one.. sweetheart said like spiderman.... hmph.. but i love it.. i brgained from 179 bucks to 130?! im good eh? got a cap for 25 bucks only.. red colour too.. im obsessed with now.. though i love green... saw the billabong shirt.. damn nice?! and i still want a freaking crumpler bag? costing 140 bucks... pout... many things i've yet to buy.. but already got lectured by my papa.. sighs... oh ya... needing more caps, more baggy shirts... more red and black socks too!!! goodness.. think i just need money?
oh my... have not been feeling well these days.. had diarrhoea and vomitted many times.. more than my meals?! think i ate something too much.. i dont know..
then had to go for training, but ended up waking up with tremendous headache.. so i think i gotta train extra hard the next trg... if not i'll never catch up..
i've kinda lost my mind, wanting to die off and all.. not caring about my loved one.. and trying to hurt my loved one all the time.. i lost my mind.. cuz when i lose something i love, i go outta control... been trying to be really calm and take things easy, but i just failed miserably... i felt emptiness... hollow body, with lousy blood circulation.. making me so cold, and afraid.. it seems like no one can help me, except my precious.. but my precious is going away.. i hate smiling at people, and go home to cry it all out.. insupportable feelings.. was really appalled to hear the news.. that i had to let go.. save me? i dont know.. or should i be left alone? to get used to it.. numb my pain...
then had to go for training, but ended up waking up with tremendous headache.. so i think i gotta train extra hard the next trg... if not i'll never catch up..
i've kinda lost my mind, wanting to die off and all.. not caring about my loved one.. and trying to hurt my loved one all the time.. i lost my mind.. cuz when i lose something i love, i go outta control... been trying to be really calm and take things easy, but i just failed miserably... i felt emptiness... hollow body, with lousy blood circulation.. making me so cold, and afraid.. it seems like no one can help me, except my precious.. but my precious is going away.. i hate smiling at people, and go home to cry it all out.. insupportable feelings.. was really appalled to hear the news.. that i had to let go.. save me? i dont know.. or should i be left alone? to get used to it.. numb my pain...
oh my... have not been feeling well these days.. had diarrhoea and vomitted many times.. more than my meals?! think i ate something too much.. i dont know..
then had to go for training, but ended up waking up with tremendous headache.. so i think i gotta train extra hard the next trg... if not i'll never catch up..
i've kinda lost my mind, wanting to die off and all.. not caring about my loved one.. and trying to hurt my loved one all the time.. i lost my mind.. cuz when i lose something i love, i go outta control... been trying to be really calm and take things easy, but i just failed miserably... i felt emptiness... hollow body, with lousy blood circulation.. making me so cold, and afraid.. it seems like no one can help me, except my precious.. but my precious is going away.. i hate smiling at people, and go home to cry it all out.. insupportable feelings.. was really appalled to hear the news.. that i had to let go.. save me? i dont know.. or should i be left alone? to get used to it.. numb my pain...
then had to go for training, but ended up waking up with tremendous headache.. so i think i gotta train extra hard the next trg... if not i'll never catch up..
i've kinda lost my mind, wanting to die off and all.. not caring about my loved one.. and trying to hurt my loved one all the time.. i lost my mind.. cuz when i lose something i love, i go outta control... been trying to be really calm and take things easy, but i just failed miserably... i felt emptiness... hollow body, with lousy blood circulation.. making me so cold, and afraid.. it seems like no one can help me, except my precious.. but my precious is going away.. i hate smiling at people, and go home to cry it all out.. insupportable feelings.. was really appalled to hear the news.. that i had to let go.. save me? i dont know.. or should i be left alone? to get used to it.. numb my pain...
Sunday, December 28, 2003
Hey.. Sorry for scaring you people.. I just kinda lost my mind.. Wanted to just die while saving someone, or die cuz I’m the only pest in the world.. I you get my vibe? I’m not fine, honestly... having to hide my feelings all over again aint easy at all.. I hope I died... i.. Tried to die.. But it didnt work of cuz.. Thanks grandma (sianks) for your wisdom, comfort, and warmth.. i didnt manage to tell you anything at all.. cuz I just cldnt speak up... Told you I was losing someone precious... Here to say, that I really appreciated what you’d done? Thanks..
And chew, thanks to you too.. That I’m feeling a lil better.. better remember that you shldnt mention to anyone about what happen.. Even after you’re with me ya? Hee… Just here to at least give reasons why I did so many “ugly” stuff to my blog…
I really hope I can live through this.. For at least a week… I don’t know.. just knowing I gotta hide my feelings so much.. I really don’t wana think about this..
And chew, thanks to you too.. That I’m feeling a lil better.. better remember that you shldnt mention to anyone about what happen.. Even after you’re with me ya? Hee… Just here to at least give reasons why I did so many “ugly” stuff to my blog…
I really hope I can live through this.. For at least a week… I don’t know.. just knowing I gotta hide my feelings so much.. I really don’t wana think about this..
Saturday, December 27, 2003
PEOPLE, GOOD SONG.. READ IT.. THOUGH PET AND CHEW ALR KNEW..
I Dont Wanna Fall In Love
Who needs to feel that way
who needs those words to say
who wants to give their heart to watch love fade away
cuz I've made up my mind
I didn't want to know
why should I find the love that isn't here to stay
I wasn't waiting until you came along
and now I need you to tell me where my heart belongs
But I don't wanna fall in love
till I fall in love with you
and you showed me what my heart already knew
I don't wanna fall in love
till I know the love is true
cuz I need you to feel the way I do
when I give my heart to you
I've seen the tears they cried
when its time for good bye
I didn't want to be the one who's asking why
I didn't think that I would ever feel so strong
but now I know that I was wrong
But I don't wanna fall in love
till I fall in love with you
and you showed me what my heart already knew
I don't wanna fall in love
till I know the love is true
cuz I need you to feell the way I do
when I give my heart to you.. you..
Now I believe it's worth the chance
to find a love that lasts
for all my life
give me a sign so I will always know this love is right.. this love is right...
But I don't wanna fall in love (don't wanna fall in love)
till I fall in love with you
and you showed me what my heart already knew (what my heart already knew)
I don't wanna fall in love (don't wanna fall in love, no)
till I know the love is true
cuz I need you to feel the way I do
when I give my heart to you
But I don't wanna fall in love
till I fall in love with you
and you showed me what my heart already knew
I don't wanna fall in love (don't wanna fall in love)
till I know the love is true
cuz I need you to feel the way I do
when I give my heart to you...
when I give my heart to you...
I Dont Wanna Fall In Love
Who needs to feel that way
who needs those words to say
who wants to give their heart to watch love fade away
cuz I've made up my mind
I didn't want to know
why should I find the love that isn't here to stay
I wasn't waiting until you came along
and now I need you to tell me where my heart belongs
But I don't wanna fall in love
till I fall in love with you
and you showed me what my heart already knew
I don't wanna fall in love
till I know the love is true
cuz I need you to feel the way I do
when I give my heart to you
I've seen the tears they cried
when its time for good bye
I didn't want to be the one who's asking why
I didn't think that I would ever feel so strong
but now I know that I was wrong
But I don't wanna fall in love
till I fall in love with you
and you showed me what my heart already knew
I don't wanna fall in love
till I know the love is true
cuz I need you to feell the way I do
when I give my heart to you.. you..
Now I believe it's worth the chance
to find a love that lasts
for all my life
give me a sign so I will always know this love is right.. this love is right...
But I don't wanna fall in love (don't wanna fall in love)
till I fall in love with you
and you showed me what my heart already knew (what my heart already knew)
I don't wanna fall in love (don't wanna fall in love, no)
till I know the love is true
cuz I need you to feel the way I do
when I give my heart to you
But I don't wanna fall in love
till I fall in love with you
and you showed me what my heart already knew
I don't wanna fall in love (don't wanna fall in love)
till I know the love is true
cuz I need you to feel the way I do
when I give my heart to you...
when I give my heart to you...
Thursday, December 25, 2003
my immortal
i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along
i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along
go away.. leave me alone.. i dont wana hear anything.. i wana die.. leave me alone..
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
had training yesterday.. can say its one of the most relaxing training i've ever had... we also had a little competition among ourselves too... well, guess who won? my team of course!! im on a winning streak nowadays... whoever that joins my team always wins.. :) anyway.. was feeling a little less flustered til dinner time.. i thought i was going to be the latest for the dinner (supposed to be at the restaurant at 7:15 but reached home at 8:09!!).. andi found out, next me was an empty seat?! it wasnt very astonishing that my cousin's still not there at that time.. but i found intiutive were the facial expressions on my 2nd aunt.. she looked like she gorged down a ball of fire? looking as fiery as a tiger-- just realised, that she has been terribly agonized by my cousin's actions.. the confidential parts, i shall not go on.. when she finally made her usual grand entrance, her mum's face blackened further.. anut was rushing her to gobble down all the food, and to leave immediately after that.. i was baffled.. i didnt know whats going on.. my cousin looked terrible.. she lost her capacious room for appetite.. i wanted to msg her, but she just lost her merely two-month-old handphone.. (heart ache like hell) i dont know whats happening... when will my pain get numb...?
THIS'S VERY MEANINGFUL FOR THOSE WHO FEELS TORMENTED
never say i love you if you dont really care
never talk of feelings if they arent really there
never hold my hand if you mean to break my heart
never say forever if you ever plan to part
never look into my eyes if you're telling me a lie
never say hello if you think you'll say goodbye
never say im the ONE if you dream of more than me
never lock up my heart if you dont have the key
never say i love you if you dont really care
never talk of feelings if they arent really there
never hold my hand if you mean to break my heart
never say forever if you ever plan to part
never look into my eyes if you're telling me a lie
never say hello if you think you'll say goodbye
never say im the ONE if you dream of more than me
never lock up my heart if you dont have the key
you know what? i think i did something very smart today... i copied the datebloggerheader into my template and now i got a header!! lolx!
Sunday, December 21, 2003
If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget…
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget…
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.
wow.. i just logged into the msn and millions came in after that?! i was just busy promoting my blog to everyone at msn... lolx! managed to get a few's attention, though its SOO divided attention..
listen here, all teachers' pets.. if you wish to tell ms shanthi anything, go ahead.. i would love to talk to her again, finding out what is really deceitful in this current situation the whole netball team is in.. wondering why is she always fraudulently altering the facts.. or is she wrongly accused? i really need to know.. have not been able to communicate with her as she seems to circumvent our questions..
and netballers, dont give up! we're all supposed to be in the "rare breed" category... we can work a little harder, and aspire great scores, to go to a school we always want... prove everyone that we are rare breed, and that we can excel both in both tangible and intangible things! do this for yourself as well..? everyone wants to do well am i right? if we can have a chance to gain knowledge in studies and in netball, it shows that coach, principal and teachers (maybe not them, but oh well, who knows) believe in us? that we have the potential to handle both things well! they would've threw us far far away if they fail to see the potential in us!!!??? sometimes, studies alone, may not get you very far.. you need other skills to grow up too? singapore just believe that studies' the most impt in this materialistic world... so go for it netballers! we shall be the champions for the world to see!! smuackx! oh ya... you're not alone... all of us are together as one. thats what really matters.. really...
You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone
and.. my sweetheart , happy now? no more mummy!! hee.. hope you get well soon ya? i missed that strong "aroma" of your stinking garden!! hee..
listen here, all teachers' pets.. if you wish to tell ms shanthi anything, go ahead.. i would love to talk to her again, finding out what is really deceitful in this current situation the whole netball team is in.. wondering why is she always fraudulently altering the facts.. or is she wrongly accused? i really need to know.. have not been able to communicate with her as she seems to circumvent our questions..
and netballers, dont give up! we're all supposed to be in the "rare breed" category... we can work a little harder, and aspire great scores, to go to a school we always want... prove everyone that we are rare breed, and that we can excel both in both tangible and intangible things! do this for yourself as well..? everyone wants to do well am i right? if we can have a chance to gain knowledge in studies and in netball, it shows that coach, principal and teachers (maybe not them, but oh well, who knows) believe in us? that we have the potential to handle both things well! they would've threw us far far away if they fail to see the potential in us!!!??? sometimes, studies alone, may not get you very far.. you need other skills to grow up too? singapore just believe that studies' the most impt in this materialistic world... so go for it netballers! we shall be the champions for the world to see!! smuackx! oh ya... you're not alone... all of us are together as one. thats what really matters.. really...
You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone
and.. my sweetheart , happy now? no more mummy!! hee.. hope you get well soon ya? i missed that strong "aroma" of your stinking garden!! hee..
I hate the way you talk to me
And the way your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much. It makes me sick.
It even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you’re always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me cry.
I hate it when you’re not around
And the fact that you didn’t call
But mostly I hate the way
I don’t hate you,
Not even close,
Not even a little bit,
Not even at all…
And the way your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much. It makes me sick.
It even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you’re always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me cry.
I hate it when you’re not around
And the fact that you didn’t call
But mostly I hate the way
I don’t hate you,
Not even close,
Not even a little bit,
Not even at all…
had such a hard time building this blog up.. if not for sianks, i wouldnt have done it so successfully... thanks!! you're great! smuackx! anyway, im trying out on my new blog and sianks is trying to help me with the setting of music... she's so kind.. but then again, is bcoz i threatened her, that she will be in trouble if she walk out on me..
Saturday, December 20, 2003
grandma: lolx! when did you become my grandma sianks?! anyway.. i had a blog earlier this afternoon.. it was a thank you blog for you, but weirdly, it didnt appear... so here i am again... giving you all my thanks.. i really appreciated it and thanked god a million times that you're an IT student!! im returning you a favour by summarising my "big events" for year 2003! well, though it hasnt end yet, loads of challenges have been taken by this ms green here.. so here i go..
lets talk about the most recent event? the netball team had a long session with each other yesterday... i tell you something that you wont believe.. my views about ms shanthi's plesant nature have changed drastically.. i bet most of the IJ-rians thought that ms shanthi, was a very responsible teacher (though not very promising), who seems to be the "hot favourite" in the school.. where students would run after her just say hi or wave at her... her great "title" had been abolished i must say..
heard the most shocking, but most relaible comments about ms shanthi from this someone.. that she has failed to accomplish god's simplest task for everyone; honesty.. maybe i was wronged about her all along? she was very hypocritical.. i was very disappointed with her.. i looked up to her so much...
netballers were always caught in between the fatherly teachers and the motherly coach... always been the ones cornered with no space for anything.. but we were surviving from the limited amount of oxygen given by our "parents" separately.. they never seemed to have got together, giving the maximum amount to us... but we're not the ones suffocating.. its the adults themselves..
ms shanthi, had denied all the sly comments she made... did many things to disappoint every one of us time and time again.. we were downhearted by her actions... we were all disenchanted... so shit right?
not very long ago, my form teacher shouted at face, "i look down on you xianwei!" for being the last in class, for crying, for everything.. she hates me.. the last thing you should be in mrs wong's eyes is being a PEST. i never been happy in school.. its not entirely her fault though.. if i had been more disciplined and tried to prove her wrong, i wouldnt have ended up like this... i was very embarrassed by what she told me.. sent my coach funny msgs too... i really made a fool outta myself this time...
dont wish to continue, coz heart is aching like hell.. with no cure yet.. heart has been very uptight... hoping that by expressing your feelings to a 'blog of friends' will at least numb the pain in me a little...
lets talk about the most recent event? the netball team had a long session with each other yesterday... i tell you something that you wont believe.. my views about ms shanthi's plesant nature have changed drastically.. i bet most of the IJ-rians thought that ms shanthi, was a very responsible teacher (though not very promising), who seems to be the "hot favourite" in the school.. where students would run after her just say hi or wave at her... her great "title" had been abolished i must say..
heard the most shocking, but most relaible comments about ms shanthi from this someone.. that she has failed to accomplish god's simplest task for everyone; honesty.. maybe i was wronged about her all along? she was very hypocritical.. i was very disappointed with her.. i looked up to her so much...
netballers were always caught in between the fatherly teachers and the motherly coach... always been the ones cornered with no space for anything.. but we were surviving from the limited amount of oxygen given by our "parents" separately.. they never seemed to have got together, giving the maximum amount to us... but we're not the ones suffocating.. its the adults themselves..
ms shanthi, had denied all the sly comments she made... did many things to disappoint every one of us time and time again.. we were downhearted by her actions... we were all disenchanted... so shit right?
not very long ago, my form teacher shouted at face, "i look down on you xianwei!" for being the last in class, for crying, for everything.. she hates me.. the last thing you should be in mrs wong's eyes is being a PEST. i never been happy in school.. its not entirely her fault though.. if i had been more disciplined and tried to prove her wrong, i wouldnt have ended up like this... i was very embarrassed by what she told me.. sent my coach funny msgs too... i really made a fool outta myself this time...
dont wish to continue, coz heart is aching like hell.. with no cure yet.. heart has been very uptight... hoping that by expressing your feelings to a 'blog of friends' will at least numb the pain in me a little...
I dont know whats worth fighting for
or why i have to scream
I dont know why i instigate
And say what i dont mean
I dont know how i got this way
i know it is no all right
So im
Breaking the habit
Tonight
or why i have to scream
I dont know why i instigate
And say what i dont mean
I dont know how i got this way
i know it is no all right
So im
Breaking the habit
Tonight