I raced against time... but I lost.

family? what happen to ohana? why keep everything from me? till yesterday i find out one by one? chare? you are supposed to stay with the family? what do you mean drifted away from us? will you happy if you know im upset and i hide it from you? fang? whats the meaning of saying "im ok" and then God made you send the wrong msg to me? didnt you feel tat better when you voice it out? gf? i didnt expect this from you.. the blog entry was refering to me? you lied to me? i really dont get as hurt when chare or fang implodes coz i know they are trying to change (i suppose) but i never thought you would too? i thought you would voice out every inch of unhappiness to me.. why did i hear it from someone else that you are upset with me?! i thought you would understand..

guys, fang told me herself i got 3 people on the implode list. you 3 are all i have now you know that? you guys are trying to kill me.. you know who just left? you people please be honest with me, let me feel your presence? am i asking alot from you guys? tell me what exactly helps? coz i really dont wish to hear everyone in the family is sad? fang im still affected at how you emphasize the "whole day" when you were pin pointing at my time management? if you people dont tell me yourself, dont expect me to know and do something about it? tell me, im not hard to turn to am i? i need you guys to talk to me.. gf, talk to me. be with me. feel so hurt that your sad with me.. you mean so much to me.. so much it hurts so bad when your sad.. gosh im sorry...