remember i told you my world is crashing down on me? it has landed.. officially.. though many times i thought it landed, i fought my way up to push it as far as i could.. this time.. with this one sentence, my world shot through my non existent heart.. not that i didnt feel any pain.. but its like i jumped from the 20th storey, and the trauma and shock i received killed me instantaneously before i received the physical injuries..

i always thought that jumping from the 20th storey means dying because you sustained fatal injuries.. (gosh, my hands can hardly type the words.. cant see too.. haha?) well... i had a small discussion with kel and kel's ma, (Like we're really the experts or we'd experienced it) we concluded that we actually die from shock so we dont feel any physical pain...

thats how im feeling.. i got the shock, the dismay.. then, my body got numb.. like the physical features corroded or decomposed.. the nerves are dead.. no longer in ooperation.. but leaving the poor heart, trying to keep itself alive on nothing.. it has now nothing to lean, depend on..

(im trying out mrs low's stuff) its like the pair of shoes i received.. i thought by tightening the laces when wearing, i would feel the security on my feet.. i didnt need to fear the shoes would fall off.. but as i tightened and tightened, tension was building up without notice.. next minute i knew, the laces were torn.. then i realised, its no use strangling your loved one who's not meant to be yours.. yes its gona hurt, like mad.. wondered a million times, how am i to survive this? but what to do.. if your meant to be hurt, you've got no choice.. not at all.. no matter how you try, you will deepen your on wound.. you'll be applying tons of salt to your wound... gosh.. good luck people.. prove to your loved ones that you love them.. since i've failed.. i shall give you an advice.. please... be tactful in whatever you do? trust and hoesty is something you cant lose.. cant leave out?