oh my.. i didnt realised i cried so much that i can barely open my eyes.. gallons of tears i've let go of.. i look really disgusting.. i hope god will pull me through this.. cuz everone doesnt want to talk to me.. im such a bad person... and right now, my hands are shivering like mad.. i guess im losing alot of energy, as well as blood.. oh my, i just hope i train to death..

yesterday, while running my 10 rds, was debating with my body whether i should run to death.. cuz i just injured my hamstring agian, and my chest was in excruciatingly tight.. goodness, then when i went to my grandma's house, and found out the tremendous headache never left me.. and some piercing msgs from friends, just accumulated the high amount of pain im enduring.. the thought of relaxing is getting further and further away from me... or rather, it has left me.. always in suspense, fear.. hmm.. eveything bad i should say..

what should i do? isolate myself from the world? dont love anymore? go hate everyone in this world thats soo not suitable for me? no, im enduring for one person.. the only person that stopped me dying many times.. i think its getting very one-sided.. paranoia gets the better of this person.. and is giving me up.. what can i do? just wait for death i guess.. maybe im too demanding i dont know.. but whatever reason im guessing, its not gonna be of any use.. cuz you already left me alone.. haha.. pure loser, is really losing..


kahyee, dont worry too much about you-know-what. cuz what you're suffering, is my low level of pain.. talking about pain, im best at it.. i've been in almost any kind of pain.. and i think i can really help you.. i have similar experience you see? so, not to worry so much.. im here!

pet, you seem to be in trouble too.. i hope the whole team can go through together ya? and there is something wrong when you went to my blog.. cuz my font is actually very big already..

one, im always here for anyone, everyone.. i've feelings only when i help you, but real feelings for people, i lost it..