oh my... have not been feeling well these days.. had diarrhoea and vomitted many times.. more than my meals?! think i ate something too much.. i dont know..
then had to go for training, but ended up waking up with tremendous headache.. so i think i gotta train extra hard the next trg... if not i'll never catch up..

i've kinda lost my mind, wanting to die off and all.. not caring about my loved one.. and trying to hurt my loved one all the time.. i lost my mind.. cuz when i lose something i love, i go outta control... been trying to be really calm and take things easy, but i just failed miserably... i felt emptiness... hollow body, with lousy blood circulation.. making me so cold, and afraid.. it seems like no one can help me, except my precious.. but my precious is going away.. i hate smiling at people, and go home to cry it all out.. insupportable feelings.. was really appalled to hear the news.. that i had to let go.. save me? i dont know.. or should i be left alone? to get used to it.. numb my pain...